Movie Reviews

Spiders 3D Movie

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Written by Jonathan Jacobs

The implication of course is that Spiders 3D movie has no successes to tout. The film is replete with sub-standard actors taking a premise seriously that has no business existing anywhere other than on the Sci-Fi Channel at four o'clock in the morning, on a weekday. Spiders augment by leaps and bounds by gnoshing on the carcasses of the infamous NYC Subway rats. These succulent rodents are fodder for the expansive spiders. Mutated by mysterious forces from outer space, these spiders become massive, invulnerable to modern human weaponry, and they have plans for the conquest of the planet. It is like Godzilla has been reincarnated, only there are thousands of him and they have anti-ablative armor. Nothing can stop these monstrous creatures devoted to tearing Earth to pieces. Best of all, this picture is in 3D!

Spiders 3D movie is so awful that it is comical. If you have no sense of humor then avoid this picture like the plague. On the other hand, Spiders 3D movie is a survival guide for how to survive an alien invasion from ants, beaver, cicadas, bees, or spiders...oops, I just gave the director ideas for a sequel. Shame on me. Spiders 3D movie has no merit, no heart, and it is empty of everything a movie requires to be memorable. Even the spiders are angry at being in such a terrible motion picture. They are busy eating NYC as punishment for Director Tibor Takács's sins.

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